Holy Cow, I'm White... Oh, And Nerdy

Word of the Post
Today's word is: effigy
/ef"fi*gy/ noun
An image, representation or likeness of a person. This could be a coin, a sculpture, a painting or a full-body token for burning in the public square. I wish I had burned my own effigy, rather than endure the sunburn I have.
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I am a bad influence. I am teaching my niece bad things. I taught her to say "Don't work too hard," as DH was walking out the door to go back to work. I taught her to put up her hands and say "Ta-Da!" when she has fallen down and gets up quickly and without injury. She already puts her hands in the air, and says either "Touchdown!" or "I did it!". I didn't teach her those.

My next project, much to the chagrin of my mother-in-law, will be to get her to say "Behave yourself" to her grandmother the next time we all get together. That is my mother-in-law's favorite goodbye tag. She says it to her own mother! So I think she should get a little of that medicine back. She will glare at me, and giggle at the granddaughter. But, I think it could be worth it.

Does anyone out there have suggestions as to which brand of sunscreen works for you? I have a bottle of Ocean Potion Anti-Aging Sunblock that is SPF 15 (I know that isn't much, but...let me 'splain). It says it is water/sweat resistant. A couple of years back, I remember a news story on the companies being required to change the phrase from Water Proof to Water Resistant. Something about water still actually took off the product. Anyway, this is what I used on Tuesday, to go swimming with RoadRunner and her little boy and his friend. We were not in the sun for two hours, and I might as well have had baby oil (to promote the burning) on for all the "protection" this stuff gave me. I am white ("whiter than sour cream" is a reality for me, I am a piece of paper, seriously) where I had swimsuit, and cooked-lobster RED where I did not have covering. My right shoulder is the worst. It hurts to reach up, because that crinkles the skin against itself. OUCH!

I know, I know.... water reflects and intensifies the sun. I know that. But we weren't even there for two hours. I have done four hours in the front yard with no shade, and gotten no color whatsoever with the same sunscreen lotion. And my legs, which got no lotion at all, are the same as they were. This is Soooo not fair! My face had this and a layer of some 40 stuff that RoadRunner had, so I was not looking like I cooked over an open pit. I now wish I had taken her up on the offer to get my back with her better lotion.

So, I am now killing Aloe plants to recover. I was told to put vinegar on my burn, that it would help me heal. I have heard that before, but I don't want to smell like a pickle. I would rather be sticky with Aloe, or use lotion with the healing power of Melaleuca oil (essential Tea Tree oil, so not an oil at all, but essence of no more pain) in it. And my freckles are looking quite nice. Paper, burn, freckle, peel, paper. Repeat. I have no color, and no way to retain color. This won't even give me the whisper of a tan. I may have lines for a week after the actual burn is gone. Then, it will be back to the diving board. For now, I wear light tagless T-shirts, nothing with straps, and wear a light jacket, lest I burn more whence I venture outside again.

I don't like summer. I don't hate it, but I really don't like it. Quoth Paul Riser in Mad About You: "No, I don't want to go OUT. That's where they keep the HEAT." I would love it if the world stayed somewhere between 55 and 75 all the time. A little rain shower, a little light snow, a little warm sometimes.... but nothing extreme. If it is going to be close to Zero, I want snow up to my knee. None of this biting wind and freezing rain. No more blazing, scorching hot days. There is a reason I don't live in Phoenix... 113 in the shade, that's the reason. But, 113 in the shade in Phoenix is much more tolerable than 92 with 89 percent humidity in Oklahoma. That whole "dry heat" thing is true. I have experienced both. Summer in Colorado, Winter in Phoenix. I would love that. Alas, that takes money I have yet to earn. Sigh.

So, what sunscreen works for you? Will vinegar really do anything? Where do you want to be when the weather at home is unbearable? I look forward to seeing your comments.