Sitting At The Big Table May Not Be All That Fun

Word of the Post
Today's word is: pray
/pray/ verb
To beg, ask, entreat; earnest request; a religious act of petition from a deity.
2 Corinthians 5:20b (KJV) ~ "...we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God."

Prithee seems to be an olde English contraction of "pray thee", meaning "I ask of you". Prithee, does this maketh sense to thou?
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I am not precisely sure when it happened.

Today my mother called me to ask my opinion.

Mom spoke to me as a friend, an equal. She consulted me for an honest opinion. I gave it to her. We weighed each point with cons and pros. I think we were being drawn to the same conclusion.

She had called both of her sisters, and asked them as well. Aunt S. is the older sister, experienced in raising more children, and having grandchildren, and a thoughtful consultant. Aunt M. is the younger sister, the nurse, and a quite good sounding board herself.

I am not certain when I became one of the trusted few.

Somewhere between my impetuous teenaged youth and my stubborn foolish current age, my puny, proud little heart befriended my mother's. It feels good. It feels great. It is sad at the same time.

The question, you see, is a dangerous one with future consequences. Mom recently had both her pinkie toes amputated. She is healing well on the left foot, but the right foot is not following the dance quite right. The doctor gave her options on taking yet another toe from the right foot, all the way to removing all the toes on the right foot. {Edit: She will be losing all four of the remaining toes on her right foot.} This would be an effort to keep her foot. He didn't even really give her an opinion as to what he wished to do for her, but is leaving the decision up to her.

We discussed for a long time the facts of the matter. Her heart is not happy to have another surgery, but the doctor is certainly going to do a surgery on Wednesday, January 16. {Edit: The surgery will take place on Wednesday, January 23, because they needed her to be off the blood thinners for longer than two days.} He will remove at least one toe, or all four remaining toes, as far as she tells him to go. They speculate that removing only one toe will prolong the process, and she will be required to have other surgeries later. If all the toes are removed, her foot will have skin left to cover and close the wound. She will not just have a hole on her foot where her toes used to be, like she apparently does now. (I imagine this to end up looking like a tree stump, somewhat. When you cut a branch off, and paint it, it grows a little ridge of bark around the edges, and the middle just stays flat. I think this image keeps me from totally breaking down, so don't correct me, OK?) I have not seen her toes since before the first surgery, and I doubt I shall see any of her for most of this year. Pointing out my lack of medical background, I told her my opinion was that, to prevent further issues down the road, she should probably have all her toes removed.

My heart breaks each time I think about it. We were so calm. She wanted someone to just tell her what to do. Said it several times. She knows perfectly well all the logic that must go into this decision. The magnitude of it weighs her down. I don't know if she just wanted to be relieved of the pressure, or if she really has no idea what is best. I believe it is a combination of the two.

I ask tonight for your prayers. I can guide my mother all I want, but the final decision is up to her, to dad, and to the doctor. I can tell her what to do. (She ASKED me, after all. That was a first!) But I can't be there to hold her hand, or tell her that it will all be fine. I don't know that.

And I don't know what to do... other than pray. And fidget, continually, from a distance.