What Next? I Shouldn't Have Asked That.

I have two or three bits of posts saved on my now defunct laptop. Along with all the pictures from our vacation. I don't know if I can rescue any of it. Which means that some of the pictures on here are the only records I currently have of my vacation. Joy.

Apparently, 9 months ago when we got our laptop, it came with a pirate copy (or more likely a Volume License copy) of Windows XP. I don't know if the original got stolen from somewhere, if Windows noticed there were 20 machines using the same key code, or what... but yesterday and without warning, I can't even look on my own desktop, because Windows XP is non-functioning. I can't log on to the internet, I can't log into my user functions... the laptop is suddenly one very expensive paper weight. The last laptop had a hard drive crash that was basically irreplaceable. This one will likely be wiped when we install the new "Genuine" Windows XP copy we just had to buy online.

I haven't gotten over the grieving, and now I can't even blog about it the way I wanted to! Frustration. Lots and lots of frustration. We do still have the desktop computer in the office, so I am still blessed with access to the internet. The internet is such a blessing. I have so many friends now that I would not have known otherwise.

So... Do me a favor, please? Pray. Pray that I do NOT get angry and yell mean things to the phone help. They don't get paid enough to really handle that, and it isn't their fault the system stinks. (I have been on the receiving end of that, it is no fun. I know enough to ask for a supervisor, who can get me to the manager, who can get me Bill Gates himself if I have to...but the receptionist or the call center helper in Asia doesn't care that my laptop became a rock with no warning.) Also, pray that the money we spent this evening doesn't end up being down the tubes because of not being able to USE the fix we paid for.

There is purpose to everything, even if I don't see it right now. And I don't see it right now.

"Just like the shapes on my grandmother's rug,
You can't see the pattern when you're too close up.
From my point of view we are all far too human to see...
It's part of the mystery."
~~~ Song called Part of the Mystery by Dana Key (as in Degarmo and Key, if you are interested, but this was from his solo album called By Divine Design)

Also, this week I received some more bad news. I have another friend named Kim, who also died in a car accident, also on Friday last week, and also left a lot of family and friends behind. Kim McDaniel, a friend who lived in Farmington, New Mexico, was going with her family to Albuquerque to join a cruise trip to celebrate her daughter's High School Graduation. The family was in their SUV when they hit icy conditions, lost control of the car, crossed three lanes of traffic, and got hit by an oncoming vehicle. Kim died in their vehicle, and two people died in the other vehicle. So instead of going on a cruise, Jade is healing from her own wounds from the accident, and mourning the loss of her mom. I am crying just typing it here.

I can't fathom the depths of God's love, and I know that He holds both Kim McDaniel and Kim Whitlow in His hands... but I don't know how much more sorrow I can handle. I am weary.

On a brighter note (since we all seem to need one), my Dad has been by to read the blog, and said that he liked my writing. He told Mom that I am very detailed. That was a wonderful thing to hear. I told Mom that it is a fine balance between having enough detail to be interesting, and keeping enough anonymity to be safe. That "way with words" that MammaMia complemented me on came at the hefty cost of a college education I didn't even finish. As previously posted, however, I have finally paid it off. And then I bought another dictionary to read. I have thought about reading the Thesaurus next. Next year, after I finish the 888 Challenge this year.

Please tell your family you love them today. Give them a big hug, and make today count. We may not get a tomorrow.