So I wrote my post about a Garden... and started it overnight, like I do many of these posts. I scheduled it to post the next day, June 1, 2010.
You know, LIFE is a gamble. We roll the dice, and get surprises all the time. Having babies, finding THE ONE to spend it all with, death, taxes... all have a way of just showing up when you least expect them, and whether you want them or not.
The surprise for me for June 1 was that my Dad died.
Yes, four months after my Mom passed away.
Yes, I was, to say the least, devastated.
I am still fighting the depression. I am still struggling to understand it all. I am not in a good place these days. But... I went back and read the entry after Mom died. I really do know who my friends are. I really know they are still around. I really know that I have no clue what life will bring next, tomorrow, or eventually.
I really know that my parents were certain that I was going to be OK. Maybe not today, probably not tomorrow, but soon enough, and for a long time. They raised me to be strong, self-sufficient, and persevering. They raised me to care, so they knew this would not be easy.
Dad died of Stage 4 Renal (Kidney) Cancer... and heart failure due to the fluid building up around his heart and lungs. That fluid was more cancer, trying to take over. When they found him, collapsed in the hospital room, they tried to revive him. Three doctors tried CPR. His body had given up the fight... and I am pretty certain his spirit had lost the will to live. His "fight" died with Mom. Sis said that when she and Bro went to go identify his body (uh, really?), that he had a smile on his face... an amazingly happy smile, that they had not seen in months. I think he knew where he was going, and that Mom was waiting there for him.
I never had any doubt that if there is a heaven (like I believe there is) and if any human has any chance of going there (I believe that Jesus gives us that chance), then my parents were going there. Others have told me they thought the same. My parents believed, and used every moment to live out that belief. They shared their meager blessings with any in need, even when it meant not eating as much for dinner that night. Dad fixed stuff. He tinkered around and found new life in things like cars, refrigerators and washing machines. Mom taught children for many years, and only retired when her lack of health forced her to. They showed Jesus to everyone they came in contact with. Their lives were bold and unashamed, yet simple and sparing.
We had a Memorial Service for Dad on June 26. I made it very clear to the officiant that there was to be no preaching. Mom's memorial was too "come to Jesus" for my taste. I don't think she wanted a church service, she would have preferred a good old-fashioned "singing". So we modified Dad's service to be more fun, more stories about him, and less "churchy". There were scriptures read, and there were a few preachy thoughts, but they were balanced, and not a "final call" for those in attendance. It made his brother laugh, which made me very happy.
Dad was a simple man, but never stupid. He learned all he could about everything. He knew amazing amounts of trivia, but could still talk to a child. He knew much about the Bible and the church, and could discuss the most in-depth meat-and-potatoes subjects, but he also knew the milk basics. He had very little tolerance for the milquetoast mediocrity that so many people have these days. He had an amazing vocabulary, and often used my spelling words within a week of my getting them when I was a child. I learned from him, and not from school or even Sunday School, the meanings of words like "usurp", "delineate" and "propitiation".
Dad used his knowledge of the medical field, that he gained in Vietnam, to help Mom. When she had toes removed, he learned how to dress her wounds. This meant that the nurse, who would have to visit other patients on a daily basis, could come just once a week to clean and measure and check the wounds. Dad was always very careful with Mom, and precise about her medications. He built his own graph to track her blood sugar and pressure levels, and what medicines he gave her.
I knew my Dad had preached a few times. He had notes from several of those lessons. I suppose I could ask the church for recordings, if I got brave enough to listen to them. One of the note papers had a kite design on the back. Dad was always doodling. He enjoyed kites, and designed his own box kite. He was pretty impressed with himself, until he found a book with a picture of his kite on the front of it. He hadn't known that others had designed this style of kite before him.
He also designed and printed his own targets for his shooting. Dad was an excellent marksman, and was always learning more about being a gunsmith. His hobby was to buy old military surplus, or antiques, and shine them up, and reload ammo for them. He had black powder rifles, and BB guns. He had rubber-band repeat shooters, and dart guns and even a crossbow. He built his own stocks for barrels he had, and taught my Bro and me how to use, clean and respect firearms. He was mindful of the Second Amendment to the Constitution, and how it protected the First.
Mom had never met a stranger, they were all just friends she was not yet acquainted with. Dad had never enjoyed crowds, but tolerated them for Mom's sake. After she died, he was very quick to say, "I am done now. Goodnight." and leave. Abruptly. And I think that is how he ended his life, as well.
Bro and I followed through with Dad's wishes to be cremated, like Mom was. We decided that we never thought of them as separate, but together. Their marriage really was a unity. So, we had their ashes mixed together, and then split in half, so each of us could do what we wished with the remains. My portion of Mom and Dad still sit in the box in the pretty felt bag I got from the funeral home in NM. Sis bought a beautiful box to put the remains in... and I will move them... eventually. I have offered part of my half to Mom's two sisters, if they wish to scatter some of the ashes in some special place that means something to them.
All in all, this year has been horrible. And wonderful. Yes, I lost both my parents, rather unexpectedly. But I have found parts of myself that had formerly lay dormant inside. I am much stronger than I ever thought I could be. I have positive outlooks where once only depression lived. I have deeper friendships, and pals who are closer now. I have recently come out of the fog.
The sunshine hurts my eyes, but my skin is soaking up the vitamins. The important things and people in my life are more precious. The less important and downright unnecessary are gradually removing themselves from my space. I can move now (I joined Curves with a friend to add motion to my weeks), where all I did for months was sit and stew in my misery. I can breathe. There is still a weight on my shoulders, but it gets easier to lift every day.
It isn't easy. Mother's Day and Mom's Birthday (she would have been 65) came and went, and I was a mess. Father's Day and my parents' Anniversary (this would have been 40 years) came and went, and I pretended I wasn't a mess. But I was. I still have to face Dad's Birthday (he was going to be 63 this year), and hear all the comments about how I am "too young to face this". I have to think that they died too young, but they had full, rich lives filled with faith, family, and fun. I know people who lost their parents when they were teens... THAT is too young. I don't feel too young at 36. I wasn't ready, but I don't know that anyone can be really ready for this.
My big "regret", if I ever were to hold those, is that I never got the opportunity to give them grandchildren. Infertility sucks when you desperately want a child. Mom had pretty much decided that she would never get any grandchildren. I don't know which hurt more, knowing I couldn't give her what she wanted, or that she had resigned the wanting. Either way, if I ever do have any children now, they will never get to know my parents. And that will be a deficit for my kids, because my parents were awesome people.
From the day they met to the day they married: 4 months.
From the day she died to the day he died: 4 months.
I really believe this is no accident.
This weekend is one year since I squashed grapes, and blogged about it. I believe that it is no accident that I should feel the need to blog now. I got a bottle of the Chateau L'Feet, and pondered the spiritual applications of wine. I was thinking about God, and what it meant to share these thoughts with you. And I think that maybe this blogging thing can come back to me. Slowly. Don't go expecting a new entry every day, or even every week. But please keep checking in on me. I am working on making my life as much of a testimony as my parents gave.
My friend Laura Speaker shared that her family philosophy about death is this: When we go to the garden and pick flowers for our table, we pick the most beautiful, the most vibrant flowers. The ones that end up as our centerpiece are at their peak of bloom, color and scent. Why do we expect God to do any less? The best, brightest and most beautiful flowers in His creation are the ones he picks to come home first. They get to set the table for the rest of us. That table is going to be the most welcoming thing about Heaven.
When I go, I want to have a smile on my face in the last moments. I want people to sing a few songs, bring a few flowers and remember that I tried.
Oh, and make sure to pour a glass of wine. Cheers!
Showing posts with label sadness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sadness. Show all posts
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Oh Six, Oh Seven, Oh Eight.... Oh My!
Several people have emailed and commented to me that I should put something new on the blog. I have been hesitating and procrastinating. I decided from Jayme's Life Lessons Learned that I cannot spend my "5 minutes" wasted on thinking of doing something when I must DO something. I also chose to put away the putting off of duty, delegation and desire. I should not put off the good I can do today, to wait for better tomorrow, as I may not have a tomorrow. Without further ado...
On Wednesday, June 4, the world should have celebrated a great milestone. However, most of you will never even know about it. 71 years ago on June 4, a man named Sylvan Goldman invented the shopping cart. He first produced them by building a little cart with wheels, that held two small shopping baskets. He also invented the later addition, a child seat in the top part of the cart. They were first used in Oklahoma City. (the news station told me, so don't think I made this up)
Also on June 4 back in 1919, the 19th Amendment to the United States Constitution was instated. It guaranteed the right of Women to Vote. Handy to remember all those 19's.
On Friday, June 6, I was entrusted with a very valuable cargo. I got the opportunity to watch my nephew, Gum Drop, for a few hours while his daddy went to work. His mommy and sister (Jelly Bean) are out of the state on an adventure. This weekend, Gramma and Grampa are borrowing Gum Drop. They have never gotten to have him all by himself, because he is the second child. So, I was trusted to take Gum Drop to the Baby Swap meeting, near half-way between our fair city and Gramma's home. This is a 45 minute drive from Gum Drop's house. He is so laid back, such an easy baby. Totally different from his high-maintenance sister. (Not to say that she is bad; on the contrary, she was an easy baby, too. She just demands more attention.) I took a picture Friday that reminded me much of an old picture of Jelly Bean. Maybe I can get the two pictures side by side here for you someday soon.
I finished reading the most recent book I couldn't put down. It was "Abomination" by Colleen Coble. I loved Colleen's book. It was the perfect blend of thought-provoking and scary. Chills. I was certain the killer was someone else. I see now how she dropped little clues. I didn't see it at the time. Oh, it was great!
I hate to tell her, but there were two mistakes I caught. One of them ruined a bit of the early drama, and the other was a minor typo (and probably not her mistakes at all). I do relish being a Proofreader. I miss it greatly. I need to be in contact with some of the publishers. I want to get transcripts to things electronically, and "telecommute" to work. I don't really want to Edit, per se, but I would love to correct everyone's grammatical and spelling errors. I would so very much enjoy fixing the writers' and publishers' mistakes. Spell Check on your computer program cannot possible find all the mistakes. See? Possibly, you missed it? In a hypothetically perfect world, "an" and "a" would not be interchangeable, particularly in front of words beginning with H. I know. I am a psycho; but my little world is so much more clear, and fun for me.
Today is 06-07-08. It is THE wedding day of the year, supposedly. DH suggested to one bride we know that she should have the wedding start at 3:45. I wonder if there are babies being born today, that will be happy to know their birthday is such an interesting set of numbers? Yesterday was a birthday for a friend from High School (that I have since lost track of). There were three of us, S. born on 04-04, Me born on 05-05 and V. born on 06-06. V. was into lots of strange things, like Numerology, smoking and E.S.P. She commented once on the fact that my upbringing (church of Christ) would not allow me to go to dances, while hers (United Methodist) threw them. It isn't so much that my church wouldn't let me go, but my mother thought I needed to be more mature to go. I was planning to go to my Senior Prom, but when nobody asked (one of two or three nobody's in very particular), I took my father to see a movie. Daddy/Daughter dates were rare, and I enjoyed it. The only downside was that he had to drive home in the downpour of driving, sheeting, bucketing, cats-and-dogs rain.
I have been quietly cleaning up the blog, adding the books I have finished for the 888 Challenge, and massaging the links that I have. I have added a few new links that I have checked often for a long time, but decided to share with those of you who may not go the same route I have traveled. I have removed some links that have not updated for several months. (Jared, I would add you back at a moment's notice, so don't despair!) I finally took down my link to Suezque. It breaks my heart all over again to have to remove something so cherished. I saved the link, and have looked at it often, but I couldn't stare at it anymore on my side bar. In fact, it has been hard for me to come up with something new for the blog, because adding another post would move their remembrance from the top three posts, and I wasn't ready yet for that to happen. I may never be ready, so I decided to do it today.
Flip Flop Mamma lost a close friend recently, as well. He was only 32, and was an amazing story of faith and strength. One of her friends, while at Steve's funeral, said to FFM, "Can you imagine being so amazing that God only needs you on Earth for 32 years?" My memory gave a start, because at the Whitlow graveside service, the second uncle of the three to speak pondered, "The greatest Man to ever walk this Earth died when He was only 33." He was referring to Jesus, of course, and the fact that Gary had not yet made it to his 34th Birthday. I am just 34 myself, and barely so. Stark realizations have set in. I can't imagine that my funeral would be as positive. I must work to change that. I don't believe Gary's age was "coincidence", any more than I think that the tornado was an "accident".
Sally said that she had a friend whose daughter was touched by Gary and Kim's story and dedicated her young life to Christ. What greater good can come out of such tragedy? The work of the Lord goes on, in the lives and hearts of younger people all the time. Legacy. We inherited it from our family or mentors or teachers. It will be passed on to the following generations in the same ways, for all time to come on this Earth. Until Jesus comes back to take us all home, we must forge ahead. Forging is not always an easy or pleasant job. I have to remember to keep looking for good. I have to be good to others, and not let my own disappointment and depression keep me mired in the mud where I seem to be stuck. God will give me His Joy.
DH just told me that Big Brown finished Third. I don't know why that is still so intriguing to me. When I was a child, reading all the horse books I could get my hands on, the current running of the Triple Crown was the only sport I was curious to watch. Big Brown this year had already won the Preakness and the Belmont Stakes. Today was the running of the Kentucky Derby, the third and largest (well, most televised and talked about) race of the Triple Crown. I was rather hoping Big Brown would win. It has been many years since one horse captured all three races. Rare, and exciting to follow. I think Black Beauty got me hooked on the real races, and riding my cousin's horse in the summer trips to Kansas.
Blessings on your weekend!
On Wednesday, June 4, the world should have celebrated a great milestone. However, most of you will never even know about it. 71 years ago on June 4, a man named Sylvan Goldman invented the shopping cart. He first produced them by building a little cart with wheels, that held two small shopping baskets. He also invented the later addition, a child seat in the top part of the cart. They were first used in Oklahoma City. (the news station told me, so don't think I made this up)
Also on June 4 back in 1919, the 19th Amendment to the United States Constitution was instated. It guaranteed the right of Women to Vote. Handy to remember all those 19's.
On Friday, June 6, I was entrusted with a very valuable cargo. I got the opportunity to watch my nephew, Gum Drop, for a few hours while his daddy went to work. His mommy and sister (Jelly Bean) are out of the state on an adventure. This weekend, Gramma and Grampa are borrowing Gum Drop. They have never gotten to have him all by himself, because he is the second child. So, I was trusted to take Gum Drop to the Baby Swap meeting, near half-way between our fair city and Gramma's home. This is a 45 minute drive from Gum Drop's house. He is so laid back, such an easy baby. Totally different from his high-maintenance sister. (Not to say that she is bad; on the contrary, she was an easy baby, too. She just demands more attention.) I took a picture Friday that reminded me much of an old picture of Jelly Bean. Maybe I can get the two pictures side by side here for you someday soon.
I finished reading the most recent book I couldn't put down. It was "Abomination" by Colleen Coble. I loved Colleen's book. It was the perfect blend of thought-provoking and scary. Chills. I was certain the killer was someone else. I see now how she dropped little clues. I didn't see it at the time. Oh, it was great!
I hate to tell her, but there were two mistakes I caught. One of them ruined a bit of the early drama, and the other was a minor typo (and probably not her mistakes at all). I do relish being a Proofreader. I miss it greatly. I need to be in contact with some of the publishers. I want to get transcripts to things electronically, and "telecommute" to work. I don't really want to Edit, per se, but I would love to correct everyone's grammatical and spelling errors. I would so very much enjoy fixing the writers' and publishers' mistakes. Spell Check on your computer program cannot possible find all the mistakes. See? Possibly, you missed it? In a hypothetically perfect world, "an" and "a" would not be interchangeable, particularly in front of words beginning with H. I know. I am a psycho; but my little world is so much more clear, and fun for me.
Today is 06-07-08. It is THE wedding day of the year, supposedly. DH suggested to one bride we know that she should have the wedding start at 3:45. I wonder if there are babies being born today, that will be happy to know their birthday is such an interesting set of numbers? Yesterday was a birthday for a friend from High School (that I have since lost track of). There were three of us, S. born on 04-04, Me born on 05-05 and V. born on 06-06. V. was into lots of strange things, like Numerology, smoking and E.S.P. She commented once on the fact that my upbringing (church of Christ) would not allow me to go to dances, while hers (United Methodist) threw them. It isn't so much that my church wouldn't let me go, but my mother thought I needed to be more mature to go. I was planning to go to my Senior Prom, but when nobody asked (one of two or three nobody's in very particular), I took my father to see a movie. Daddy/Daughter dates were rare, and I enjoyed it. The only downside was that he had to drive home in the downpour of driving, sheeting, bucketing, cats-and-dogs rain.
I have been quietly cleaning up the blog, adding the books I have finished for the 888 Challenge, and massaging the links that I have. I have added a few new links that I have checked often for a long time, but decided to share with those of you who may not go the same route I have traveled. I have removed some links that have not updated for several months. (Jared, I would add you back at a moment's notice, so don't despair!) I finally took down my link to Suezque. It breaks my heart all over again to have to remove something so cherished. I saved the link, and have looked at it often, but I couldn't stare at it anymore on my side bar. In fact, it has been hard for me to come up with something new for the blog, because adding another post would move their remembrance from the top three posts, and I wasn't ready yet for that to happen. I may never be ready, so I decided to do it today.
Flip Flop Mamma lost a close friend recently, as well. He was only 32, and was an amazing story of faith and strength. One of her friends, while at Steve's funeral, said to FFM, "Can you imagine being so amazing that God only needs you on Earth for 32 years?" My memory gave a start, because at the Whitlow graveside service, the second uncle of the three to speak pondered, "The greatest Man to ever walk this Earth died when He was only 33." He was referring to Jesus, of course, and the fact that Gary had not yet made it to his 34th Birthday. I am just 34 myself, and barely so. Stark realizations have set in. I can't imagine that my funeral would be as positive. I must work to change that. I don't believe Gary's age was "coincidence", any more than I think that the tornado was an "accident".
Sally said that she had a friend whose daughter was touched by Gary and Kim's story and dedicated her young life to Christ. What greater good can come out of such tragedy? The work of the Lord goes on, in the lives and hearts of younger people all the time. Legacy. We inherited it from our family or mentors or teachers. It will be passed on to the following generations in the same ways, for all time to come on this Earth. Until Jesus comes back to take us all home, we must forge ahead. Forging is not always an easy or pleasant job. I have to remember to keep looking for good. I have to be good to others, and not let my own disappointment and depression keep me mired in the mud where I seem to be stuck. God will give me His Joy.
DH just told me that Big Brown finished Third. I don't know why that is still so intriguing to me. When I was a child, reading all the horse books I could get my hands on, the current running of the Triple Crown was the only sport I was curious to watch. Big Brown this year had already won the Preakness and the Belmont Stakes. Today was the running of the Kentucky Derby, the third and largest (well, most televised and talked about) race of the Triple Crown. I was rather hoping Big Brown would win. It has been many years since one horse captured all three races. Rare, and exciting to follow. I think Black Beauty got me hooked on the real races, and riding my cousin's horse in the summer trips to Kansas.
Blessings on your weekend!
Friday, May 30, 2008
What Next? I Shouldn't Have Asked That.
I have two or three bits of posts saved on my now defunct laptop. Along with all the pictures from our vacation. I don't know if I can rescue any of it. Which means that some of the pictures on here are the only records I currently have of my vacation. Joy.
Apparently, 9 months ago when we got our laptop, it came with a pirate copy (or more likely a Volume License copy) of Windows XP. I don't know if the original got stolen from somewhere, if Windows noticed there were 20 machines using the same key code, or what... but yesterday and without warning, I can't even look on my own desktop, because Windows XP is non-functioning. I can't log on to the internet, I can't log into my user functions... the laptop is suddenly one very expensive paper weight. The last laptop had a hard drive crash that was basically irreplaceable. This one will likely be wiped when we install the new "Genuine" Windows XP copy we just had to buy online.
I haven't gotten over the grieving, and now I can't even blog about it the way I wanted to! Frustration. Lots and lots of frustration. We do still have the desktop computer in the office, so I am still blessed with access to the internet. The internet is such a blessing. I have so many friends now that I would not have known otherwise.
So... Do me a favor, please? Pray. Pray that I do NOT get angry and yell mean things to the phone help. They don't get paid enough to really handle that, and it isn't their fault the system stinks. (I have been on the receiving end of that, it is no fun. I know enough to ask for a supervisor, who can get me to the manager, who can get me Bill Gates himself if I have to...but the receptionist or the call center helper in Asia doesn't care that my laptop became a rock with no warning.) Also, pray that the money we spent this evening doesn't end up being down the tubes because of not being able to USE the fix we paid for.
There is purpose to everything, even if I don't see it right now. And I don't see it right now.
"Just like the shapes on my grandmother's rug,
You can't see the pattern when you're too close up.
From my point of view we are all far too human to see...
It's part of the mystery."
~~~ Song called Part of the Mystery by Dana Key (as in Degarmo and Key, if you are interested, but this was from his solo album called By Divine Design)
Also, this week I received some more bad news. I have another friend named Kim, who also died in a car accident, also on Friday last week, and also left a lot of family and friends behind. Kim McDaniel, a friend who lived in Farmington, New Mexico, was going with her family to Albuquerque to join a cruise trip to celebrate her daughter's High School Graduation. The family was in their SUV when they hit icy conditions, lost control of the car, crossed three lanes of traffic, and got hit by an oncoming vehicle. Kim died in their vehicle, and two people died in the other vehicle. So instead of going on a cruise, Jade is healing from her own wounds from the accident, and mourning the loss of her mom. I am crying just typing it here.
I can't fathom the depths of God's love, and I know that He holds both Kim McDaniel and Kim Whitlow in His hands... but I don't know how much more sorrow I can handle. I am weary.
On a brighter note (since we all seem to need one), my Dad has been by to read the blog, and said that he liked my writing. He told Mom that I am very detailed. That was a wonderful thing to hear. I told Mom that it is a fine balance between having enough detail to be interesting, and keeping enough anonymity to be safe. That "way with words" that MammaMia complemented me on came at the hefty cost of a college education I didn't even finish. As previously posted, however, I have finally paid it off. And then I bought another dictionary to read. I have thought about reading the Thesaurus next. Next year, after I finish the 888 Challenge this year.
Please tell your family you love them today. Give them a big hug, and make today count. We may not get a tomorrow.
Apparently, 9 months ago when we got our laptop, it came with a pirate copy (or more likely a Volume License copy) of Windows XP. I don't know if the original got stolen from somewhere, if Windows noticed there were 20 machines using the same key code, or what... but yesterday and without warning, I can't even look on my own desktop, because Windows XP is non-functioning. I can't log on to the internet, I can't log into my user functions... the laptop is suddenly one very expensive paper weight. The last laptop had a hard drive crash that was basically irreplaceable. This one will likely be wiped when we install the new "Genuine" Windows XP copy we just had to buy online.
I haven't gotten over the grieving, and now I can't even blog about it the way I wanted to! Frustration. Lots and lots of frustration. We do still have the desktop computer in the office, so I am still blessed with access to the internet. The internet is such a blessing. I have so many friends now that I would not have known otherwise.
So... Do me a favor, please? Pray. Pray that I do NOT get angry and yell mean things to the phone help. They don't get paid enough to really handle that, and it isn't their fault the system stinks. (I have been on the receiving end of that, it is no fun. I know enough to ask for a supervisor, who can get me to the manager, who can get me Bill Gates himself if I have to...but the receptionist or the call center helper in Asia doesn't care that my laptop became a rock with no warning.) Also, pray that the money we spent this evening doesn't end up being down the tubes because of not being able to USE the fix we paid for.
There is purpose to everything, even if I don't see it right now. And I don't see it right now.
"Just like the shapes on my grandmother's rug,
You can't see the pattern when you're too close up.
From my point of view we are all far too human to see...
It's part of the mystery."
~~~ Song called Part of the Mystery by Dana Key (as in Degarmo and Key, if you are interested, but this was from his solo album called By Divine Design)
Also, this week I received some more bad news. I have another friend named Kim, who also died in a car accident, also on Friday last week, and also left a lot of family and friends behind. Kim McDaniel, a friend who lived in Farmington, New Mexico, was going with her family to Albuquerque to join a cruise trip to celebrate her daughter's High School Graduation. The family was in their SUV when they hit icy conditions, lost control of the car, crossed three lanes of traffic, and got hit by an oncoming vehicle. Kim died in their vehicle, and two people died in the other vehicle. So instead of going on a cruise, Jade is healing from her own wounds from the accident, and mourning the loss of her mom. I am crying just typing it here.
I can't fathom the depths of God's love, and I know that He holds both Kim McDaniel and Kim Whitlow in His hands... but I don't know how much more sorrow I can handle. I am weary.
On a brighter note (since we all seem to need one), my Dad has been by to read the blog, and said that he liked my writing. He told Mom that I am very detailed. That was a wonderful thing to hear. I told Mom that it is a fine balance between having enough detail to be interesting, and keeping enough anonymity to be safe. That "way with words" that MammaMia complemented me on came at the hefty cost of a college education I didn't even finish. As previously posted, however, I have finally paid it off. And then I bought another dictionary to read. I have thought about reading the Thesaurus next. Next year, after I finish the 888 Challenge this year.
Please tell your family you love them today. Give them a big hug, and make today count. We may not get a tomorrow.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Memorial Day Thanks And Thoughts
Memory is a newly hurt part of my anatomy today. The old wounds and new are blending to become a scar that I will boast as making me stronger, if only because it didn't kill me.
I am taking a pause today to remember many who are no longer with me, and those who have served and who are currently serving for Old Glory. Some of their actions have been small, but the effects have been ripples on the lake, impacting many areas of my life in small and large ways.
I pray that God blesses those who have served our Country in the past. I pray that God stands beside those serving our Country today. I ask compassion on the families of those of us left to mourn death. I pray that you have some measure of peace today.
IN MEMORY OF:
Phillip Thomas Sanders
Ervin Chee
Gary and Kim Whitlow
Charles and Violet Clarke
Bob Yarbrough
Jimmy Elijah Chaffin
Dean Garrison
Russ Lewis
Jim Moore
John Clark
Adam Langford
HONORING VETERANS:
Franklin Clarke
Roger Gaddie
D. C. "Mac" Macdonald
D. "Grumpy Old Veteran" Rich
HONORING SOLDIERS CURRENTLY SERVING:
Jonathan Hannan
Please do not think that this is a definitive list. If I have forgotten you or your loved ones, please excuse my lack of memory. This is the list that came to mind today.
~~~~~~~~~~
May your BBQ not burn, may your corn not pop (unless you wish it to!) and may your watermelon seeds spit the farthest!
I am taking a pause today to remember many who are no longer with me, and those who have served and who are currently serving for Old Glory. Some of their actions have been small, but the effects have been ripples on the lake, impacting many areas of my life in small and large ways.
I pray that God blesses those who have served our Country in the past. I pray that God stands beside those serving our Country today. I ask compassion on the families of those of us left to mourn death. I pray that you have some measure of peace today.
IN MEMORY OF:Phillip Thomas Sanders
Ervin Chee
Gary and Kim Whitlow
Charles and Violet Clarke
Bob Yarbrough
Jimmy Elijah Chaffin
Dean Garrison
Russ Lewis
Jim Moore
John Clark
Adam Langford
HONORING VETERANS:
Franklin Clarke
Roger Gaddie
D. C. "Mac" Macdonald
D. "Grumpy Old Veteran" Rich
HONORING SOLDIERS CURRENTLY SERVING:
Jonathan Hannan
Please do not think that this is a definitive list. If I have forgotten you or your loved ones, please excuse my lack of memory. This is the list that came to mind today.
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May your BBQ not burn, may your corn not pop (unless you wish it to!) and may your watermelon seeds spit the farthest!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
My Heart Breaks Today
There are times when news is just not real. It takes a while for tragic news to sink in. I got the phone call, and I still don't comprehend it. It can't be. It just isn't right. And yet, here we are.
I made a friend online barely a year ago. I met her in person on my recent vacation to Colorado. She was delightfully fun to talk to, and had so much love in her heart for others. She had a deep desire to be a woman of God, a wife of nobility (like the Proverbs 31 wife), and a true friend.
Her husband was quiet (at least during dinner), and so much like my own DH. A great love for the Lord was stored up in his heart. He was great with children (this is a crop of a picture I took of him holding one of MammaMia's girls), and cared deeply for his wife.
This afternoon, I learned that Suezque and her Hubby had perished in a tornado on Friday night, while driving to Kansas to visit family members for the Memorial Day Weekend. The car was picked up by the tornado, and thrown several hundred feet off the road. There is a video as well as the news story here. Please pray for both families.
I am grateful that Jayme and Sally thought to call me. They had noticed that Suezque and I had become good friends, and a daily part of each other's lives. She was a bright spot on my blog, and in my life. I have to trust in God, that He will keep her close to His heart, until we meet again.
While this is a profound sorrow for those of us who will miss them terribly, there is joy to know that they are now with the Lord.
I made a friend online barely a year ago. I met her in person on my recent vacation to Colorado. She was delightfully fun to talk to, and had so much love in her heart for others. She had a deep desire to be a woman of God, a wife of nobility (like the Proverbs 31 wife), and a true friend.
Her husband was quiet (at least during dinner), and so much like my own DH. A great love for the Lord was stored up in his heart. He was great with children (this is a crop of a picture I took of him holding one of MammaMia's girls), and cared deeply for his wife.
This afternoon, I learned that Suezque and her Hubby had perished in a tornado on Friday night, while driving to Kansas to visit family members for the Memorial Day Weekend. The car was picked up by the tornado, and thrown several hundred feet off the road. There is a video as well as the news story here. Please pray for both families.I am grateful that Jayme and Sally thought to call me. They had noticed that Suezque and I had become good friends, and a daily part of each other's lives. She was a bright spot on my blog, and in my life. I have to trust in God, that He will keep her close to His heart, until we meet again.
While this is a profound sorrow for those of us who will miss them terribly, there is joy to know that they are now with the Lord.
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